When I am at my lowest

July 20, 2011- Today is the day I realize I am at the lowest point in my life.  I never thought I would ever feel like this or at least I thought those days were behind me.  It is so amazing to me that even though there is peace with God I seem to feel lost.  My joy is helping others, my joy is knowing that I have spoke life into people's lives.  So why am I feeling this way?

Today this is  journey down a path and really hope in the end my phase in this life will help others around me.  I firmly believe that this journey is for a reason and the results will be far greater than the sacrifice.

Taking other people into your drama

I was reading the book of Jonah in the Bible, and God told him to go to the city of Ninevah, but he didnt want to go, so he ends up on this ship going in the other directions away from his assignment thinking that all was well. It seem while they were sailing a storm starts to hit the seas, other people crying out to God, why are we going through this? Have you ever thought that when you are supposed to be on an assignnment and your doing what your not supposed to do God will make the situation so unbareable you have to correct what you have done wrong. I notices that when I was running, like jonah the people around me would be in so much trumoile and I said to myself these people are wo messed up why am I around them. Men I would have relationships with would be doing fine months before I met them, then the minute we were dating drama unfolds in their business and in their lives. I think about those men on the ship, how they were doing what they always did and one person's disobedience cause the whole ship to almost sink. We think our sins do not affect anyone else but us. In truth if affects everyone we are in contact with. Unless we confess our sins turn away from our sinful hearts and desires, we can be just like jonah taking a whole ship down with us unless we decide to be thrown over board into the presence of God. To humble ourselves and cry out to him acknowlege what he called us for to be servants and to do his will. Just like love it can be spread, and sin is just the same. These are two things we cannot contain, but it is better to show God's love than to spread sin which can lead to distruction.  Father I thank you for recieving me into your loving arms. I thank you for giving me that second chance to come back to you. Lord continue to use me as your vessle so that your name Jehovah God will be magnified.  Lord Jesus I thank you for being the redemptions for all our sins, and for making a direct way to our Glorious father. A way for us to come back home where love truly lives and salvationg through Christ Jesus reigns.

Pain=Fear=Pain=Fear

2 Timothy 1:7 (New King James Version)

⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.



It’s amazing how fear paralyzes us when we are caught in a jam.  Pain also keeps us from trying anything else so we just end up shutting down.  God didn’t give us this spirit, this is just something that only makes us weak and for a way the devil wants to hold us captive.  We should walk in so much boldness that we know who our creator is and what he is going to bring us out of.

 Past hurt and relationships keeps us from truly moving on, we continue to stay stagnant almost frozen in time. At what point do we get past this? If we focus on whom we are in Christ and where we want to be, these bumps and road block will only seem like a temporary traffic jam.  Yeah it’s frustrating and almost annoying but when you get out of it its just open highway all the way. 

My Walk...

Nothing more powerful than knowing who you are serving.  When joy is always around you even when the storm decides to hit you from left to right.  As I was reading Psalms and just loving Davids prayers to God it helped me to realize not only do I serve such a wonderful God but an awesome one.  My faith walk is just that, walking by faith and not by sight. Coming out a fast breaks so much clarity to you and I almost want to continue just so I can get more insight. Continue on this journey with me maybe my walk can inspire you to see the love that God has for me and the love the is waiting for you. Be blessed always and show God's love any time possible the rewards are so unspeakable.

You Can Run But You Can't Hide

The book of Jonah talks about a servant of the lord who ran from and caused others to end up in danger because of disobediance. This book is very powerful to me because it is the exact replica of how my life has been over the last few years.  When God gives us directions, he expects us to follow it to the letter. He gave us the book of life call the BIBLE so that we do not repeat the same mistake that our ancestors did.  Change is hard and doing right can be harder.  It seems that the ones that are doing ungodly things seem to prosper more than you. I often wonder what would be the final outcome if I just decided to ignore what my callin is in the body of Christ. I know my father loves me in Proverbs 3:11-13  ¹¹ My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, ¹² because the LORD disciplines those he loves,   as a father the son he delights in. I feel so honored to be loved by the most high and his directions have brought me to this place. As I start my faith walk with him, I want these words to be a blessing to someone and I hope that you find the same love that I have for my father. I no longer want to hide from him. I no longer want to walk in the darkness that I once was in. I want my father's light to shine and I want to be a living testimoney in the end of what my father has done for me.  No matter what it may look like now or what it seems like I will praise the lord at all times and just like Jonah my prayer will be this:

Jonah 2

 ^{1 [a]}From inside the fish Jonah prayed to the LORD his God. ² He said:

   “In my distress I called to the LORD,
   and he answered me.
From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,
   and you listened to my cry. ³ You hurled me into the depths,
   into the very heart of the seas,
   and the currents swirled about me;
all your waves and breakers
   swept over me. ⁴ I said, ‘I have been banished
   from your sight;
yet I will look again
   toward your holy temple.’ ⁵ The engulfing waters threatened me,^[b]
   the deep surrounded me;
   seaweed was wrapped around my head. ⁶ To the roots of the mountains I sank down;
   the earth beneath barred me in forever.
But you, LORD my God,
   brought my life up from the pit.

 ⁷ “When my life was ebbing away,
   I remembered you, LORD,
and my prayer rose to you,
   to your holy temple.

 ⁸ “Those who cling to worthless idols
   turn away from God’s love for them. ⁹ But I, with shouts of grateful praise,
   will sacrifice to you.
What I have vowed I will make good.
   I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the LORD.’”